It’s been over a year since I’ve done one of these, and things have changed. Can you tell they are both teenagers now?
1. The Boy: They both knit, both wear suspenders and big rimmed glasses. The difference between Hipsters and Old folks is that the old folks call them the good old days and Hipsters call them retro.
2. The Boy texting with an ADHD friend who is in a car on a long distance trip and going nuts: Just start flailing your arms and licking the window. That’s what I do.
3. The Boy: Something’s wrong with me, Mom. These girls are texting, trying to flirt, and I don’t want to. I don’t feel like it. (This last part said with a sense of horror)
4. The Boy: Nobody sits and perceives the stool. They just sit.
5. The Boy: The subconscious is a bit too subconscious for me.
6. The Girl (to a cat): You’re so fluffy. I love you.
7. The Girl (regarding a McDonald’s ad): I don’t agree with them. They say “joy is a gift, this is the box it comes in.” Joy is not a gift, it’s human nature. And joy doesn’t come in that box; heart disease does.
8. The Girl: No one wants a cell phone that nags.
9. The Girl: Ugh boots. I love the name. It perfectly describes how I feel about them.
10. The Boy: I tried to bake you a cake for your birthday.
Me: I saw no signs of it.
The Boy: I premeditated it.
11. The Girl: (to the cat) Don’t scratch me. That’s not part of being cute.
12. Me: (regarding a bullet he found on the ground) What if it’s from a crime scene or something?
The Boy: I found it on the corner by the hang out. Of COURSE it’s from a crime scene.
13. The Boy regarding a wristband he was wearing: It’s been through Hll. It’s even been through concerts!
And two bonuses just because I ran out of room
The Girl: I needs soul candy. Come to me kitty. (as she chases a cat)
The Boy:I like having big hands. They can squish things.