Suzie’s House 79: Nothing Has Changed, Indeed

In last week’s episode, Suzie and Drew became lovers. For Drew, it was a momentous experience. It changed the way he thought of Suzie, himself, and their relationship. He is ready for something serious. But who knows what Suzie is thinking?

Suzie lay in Drew’s bed and stared at the ceiling.

“Nothing has changed,” She turned her head to look Drew in the eye. “Just because we made love doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything differently.”

He gave a short, tight-lipped nod of understanding, but she didn’t mistake it for agreement.

“Unless you’ll let me into your investigation?” She knew she sounded too hopeful, but couldn’t help herself.

“No.” His answer came out in a short bark, more forceful than angry.

“Then nothing HAS changed.” She let the disappointment seep away along with her hope.

“You’re wrong. Everything has changed. You are mine now, and I’m not going to let you back away from that.” He lifted her hand to his lips.

His? She supposed she was, just as he was hers now. She knew he’d be every bit as faithful as she would. Except she wanted something more. She wanted to give him a part of herself that was no longer hers to give.

“Yeah, you’re right. Everything is different now. Except it isn’t. You know what will never change no matter how I feel about you?” She pushed herself up, and swung her bare legs off the mattress. “Ben comes first.” She glanced at Drew over her shoulder to see how he’d take it. He didn’t so much as twitch a muscle. “If you back me into a corner and force me to chose, I’ll choose him. Not only do I love him, I’m also responsible for him. Don’t try to take that away from me.”

If he’d been like Rob, he would have demanded to know what the investigation had to do with Ben. In a way, Suzie wished Drew would say something stupid like that. Then she could yell at him, remind him that he hadn’t kept Ben safe when he should have. There would be some satisfaction in venting her anger with all the ugly words she kept bottled up. It was the part of her former marriage she’d enjoyed the most.

But Drew wasn’t like Rob. He compressed his lips, and turned his face a way like a man who will not cry for any reason. Knowing him, he already felt guilty enough about Ben. More than guilty enough.

She wished she could say something, anything, to make him feel better, but she couldn’t back down. This was her son she was talking about, a son who needed her more now than ever.

Drew moved to sit beside her. He leaned forward, bracing one elbow on his knee, and ran his free hand across the top of his hair. She thought he might have groaned, but if so it was too quietly for her to be sure.

“All right. All right. You want to be part of the investigation and nothing will keep you from it.”

Suzie nodded, unwilling to trust her voice.

“I’ll let you in on all the information I have and even let you help collect information,” On hearing Drew’s words, Suzie’s heart leapt wildly. Finally, she was making real progress. “But only on two conditions.” Her heart sank. “First, you have to bring Ben back. He isn’t any safer with his father than he would be here.”

Suzie didn’t know if that was true or not, but she was willing to believe it now. With Ben home, she could do more to protect him. Except, if the judge believed she had brought him into a dangerous situation – which couldn’t be argued – she could lose him forever.

“The second is that you can’t toss me out of your bed just because he might not like my being there.”

“Of course not. He wouldn’t….” Suzie couldn’t quite bring herself to say Ben wouldn’t resent Drew. Before she sent him away, that might have been true. But now? She wasn’t so sure. “He doesn’t get to decide who I sleep with.”

Drew nodded. “And no sneaking around about it.” He put his arm across her, and pulled her close. “We’re a couple now. If I have any say in the matter, it’s going to stay that way.”

Stay that way? Did he mean what she thought he meant? If so, it was more than she’d bargained for.