Suzie stood in her bedroom with the letter in her hand. “Suzie” was written in Drew’s bold script over the top. Clearly he’d expected her to open his suitcase and find it sitting there on top of his belongings. Did he really think she wouldn’t respect his privacy? Did he not know her at all?
“You were right,” was the first sentence of his letter. Never had that sentence seemed more bitter.
You were right. I shouldn’t have gone.
I didn’t think you could love me if I weren’t true to myself, and being true to myself meant doing my job. If I was right, then I have already lost everything, including you.
It doesn’t matter that I did it for my job. The truth is that I have changed, and not in a good way. I’m afraid if I turned up on your porch now, you’d call the police. A part of me thinks you should.
I’ve become a drug addict.
It’s been a few weeks now, but I still live in a fog. I’m never entirely sure what I have done when I come to myself. It isn’t like sleep walking, though. It’s more like worms are eating my memories. I struggle constantly to make myself feel and act the way I used to, but I can’t.
Can you be lenient with me? Can you accept what I have become? Right now, my only hope is that you will not turn me away. My greatest fear is that I will see pity in your eyes when you see me.
So I’ve taken some time off. I’m going to travel a little in the hopes it will help clear my head. Things have been changing in ways I hope will prove good. As long as I think I might be able to handle this on my own, I’ll keep going.
These suits and things are just in my way right now. I’ve been lugging them around like so much emotional baggage. For now, a wallet is all I really need. I’m hoping some day I’ll be able to fit into them again. In the meanwhile, I will leave it all in your safe keeping.
I don’t know if I still have a job. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. Worst of all, I don’t know if you can still love me or not. I can only try to make myself worthy, then come back to you.
That idiot! Did he really think she’d reject him? He should just come home. Suzie pulled her cell phone out of a pocket and called him. A phone in the suitcase rang. Suzie collapsed on her bed next to the suitcase and laughed so hard she cried.
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