Suzie’s House 371 : I am Not a Victim

“I don’t even know how I feel,” Gene growled. “But it isn’t good.”

“So now you think there’s something wrong with me, right? I’m dirty, or pathetic, or something.” Tracy glared. She sat in one of the upright lawn chairs with her arms crossed.

Gene stood over her, looking young and mature by turns. Drew lay in the lounger. He sat up and set his feet in the grass with every intention of slipping out of the backyard with as little fanfare as possible.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Tracy transferred her glare from Gene to Drew.

“I thought you might want some privacy,” he muttered.

“No! Don’t go! If you go, then so will Gene, and then we won’t get anywhere.” Tracy leaned forward like she’d come out of the chair in half a second.

It was true that Gene looked like he might make a break for it. There was something of a cornered animal about the way he looked at the house. And he really did need to talk to Tracy about what happened to her, even if it was already history and nothing she’d bothered to mention before. Drew settled into the rubbery embrace of his lounger.

“All right. I’ll listen.” He waved a hand in the air and prayed this wouldn’t get too embarrassing. Talk about an entanglement.

“So…” Tracy looked at Gene like she wanted to jab him but wasn’t sure she could get away with it. “Exactly what do you think of me?”

“I… I love you.”

“Oh!” Tracy’s face bloomed into a joyful smile. “I love you too!” Then her expression closed. “Wait. I mean what do you think about what happened to me.”

Gene’s expression turned to pity. He probably didn’t even know he looked like that. Most of the time Gene didn’t show much expression at all.

“I am not a victim!” Tracy jumped up from her lawn chair fast enough to make the light weight, aluminum contraption tip over. “Do I LOOK like a victim? Do I act like a victim? No! So don’t treat me like one.”

“No! I don’t think of you that way at all. It’s the guy who attacked you that’s the problem.” Gene leaned back because Tracy was in his face.

“Yeah. Death would be too good for him,” Tracy said conversationally, backing off.

Gene grinned at Drew. They’d been saying the same thing right before she arrived.

“But he’s long gone. He didn’t even really do anything.”

“Lisa said you had bruises shaped like fingers on your neck.”

“Oh, yeah. Well, he tried to strangle me, but it didn’t work. Right? I mean, I’m still here, so what does it matter?”

“It matters because he tried to rape you and now you’re afraid of sex.”

“I am not!”

“Gah!” Gene through his hand into the air in frustration. “You were afraid of me when we were talking in the studio. Look, you’re shivering right now.” He rubbed her arms as if the hot summer afternoon was a winter day.

“That’s just… I don’t know.” Tracy pulled away.

“You didn’t do something heartless, did you?” Drew aimed his question at Gene but it was Tracy who answered.

“No, I didn’t. I just…”

“I’m probably going to regret asking, but exactly what did happen?”

Tracy gave him a narrow eyed look for a minute. Drew didn’t think she’d tell him anything, but then she sighed and sat down.

“There was this high school boy living in the apartment above mine back in Las Vegas, which is where my mom and I were living before we came here. You know? He was kind of a shrimp, but still bigger than me and real wiry because he was always working out. Well, one day he sees me in the hall when I was coming home from school and he pushed his way into my apartment.

He probably already knew my mom never came home until around supper time, so it would be a couple of hours. I knew he was watching, but I didn’t think anything of it. Anyway the first thing he did was try to take my T-shirt off.

I smacked him in the head with a book off the coffee table, and a stack of magazines fell all over the floor. He was between me and the door, so I ran to the window even though it was the second floor. He knocked over the coffee table when he slipped on the magazines. I couldn’t get the window open so I hit him with a plant in one of those terra cotta type pots.

It didn’t even slow him down. He tried to strangle me, but I got my arms up between his and knocked him off. I tried to run to my bedroom, but he got in before I could close the door.

And… um… he did some stuff. So when my mom walked in I was naked and he was on top of me, kissing me, but he didn’t really… you know… do it. Yet. It was close, but mom got there in time. So it doesn’t count. Right? I wasn’t raped. I’m not a victim. Everything’s cool.”

Drew and Gene both swore at the same time. A part of Drew was tempted to call in a few favors and see if he could track the bstrd down. No doubt Gene was even angrier. Gene’s jaw was clinched along with his fists, and he was holding really, really still. Never a good sign when Gene was concerned.

“But that’s got nothing to do with what’s happening between you and me now.” Tracy said peevishly. “The problem now is that you keep going too fast but you don’t stick it out!”

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