Suzie’s House 147: Nervous

“Gene, cut it out.” Ben took the ice cube from Gene’s hand. “She doesn’t like it.”

“So what? I do like it.” Gene tried to take the ice cube back, but Ben kept just out of reach. Not that Gene was really trying anyway. It wasn’t like he cared all that much. He grabbed for it again anyway.

“I said cut it out!” Ben actually looked serious.

“What are you two talking about?” Diane glanced nervously at them right before sliding the last batch of cookies into the oven.

Nervous. There was something about a nervous woman that set Gene off. She made him angry. He knew very well she hadn’t done anything, really, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to make her pay just for being there.

Gene grabbed the mixing bowl – now emptied of cookie dough, – and scraped off a taste. He wasn’t really in the mood for more sweets, but it helped hide his feelings.

“You started it.”

She looked up, all scowlly with worry.

“It’s different for me. No, really.” Ben shoved Gene into the hall. “We’ll be right back,” he said real loud to Diane. Then quieter, he finished talking “She was my babysitter for years and years. She’s all right with me. Besides, I’m not being mean about it. You are.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. It’s like you went back to the way you were before we got to be friends.”

That got to Gene. He couldn’t remember what he was like before they were friends. Not from the way Ben would look at it, anyway. Was he really all that mean? Seemed more like lonely to him.

“What is it about her that’s different, anyway? You don’t have any problem with my mom. Why can’t you act like that with Diane?”

“She’s not my mother,” Gene grumbled.

“Yes, but….”

“She comes in here acting all nervous and demanding like what my mother used to be and expects us to just do what she says.”

“Yeah, well, babysitters are like that. Didn’t you ever have one before?”

“No. Why should I?”

“We better go back. She’s probably wondering what happened to us.”

“Yeah, well she’s not my mother. It doesn’t matter what she thinks.”

“Why do you keep saying that, anyway? All this ‘not my mother’ business. It’s like you wish she was.”

“No. I don’t. I don’t. I don’t.”

“But you keep saying it. That’s gotta mean something. Right? I mean, maybe you don’t really want her to be your mother, but I’ll bet you want someone.”

Gene thumped down onto the couch like all the muscle went out of his legs. He felt cold, though it was a typical, muggy Wisconsin summer day.

“Do you even remember your mother? You never ever talk about her and I’ve never seen her. So where is she?”

“I don’t know. And I don’t care. She ditched Dad and me a long time ago. I don’t need her. I don’t. Just forget it.” Gene shoved past Ben, headed for the door. He had his own room now. He could go hang out there and maybe no feel so bad.

He got as far as the hall, then ran right smack into the babysitter. From the look on her face, she’d heard too much.

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