Suzie’s House 172: Deep Blue Sea

Drew rolled over.

The ceiling tiles were white with holes. Part of his mind knew they were supposed to be a steady, industrial white with regular, randomly spaced holes. The holes weren’t supposed to expand and contract with his heartbeat, and the white of the tiles wasn’t supposed to glisten with rainbows half-seen and half felt.

Maria’s face hove into view, whisps of hair falling from her bun to spear toward him like sharp words.

“What are you on?”

“I don’t know.” Drew thought the words loudly, but he wasn’t entirely sure he said them. The sound of them didn’t seem right. Maybe he only moaned.

“How long has he been like this?” She turned toward a shadow too far away for Drew to try to face.

“I found him in his apartment.” Toby’s voice came from the shadow.

Drew didn’t remember the man coming to his apartment, but then, there were a lot of things he didn’t remember. The story of his life recorded in his brain was full of holes that often began and ended with the flick of a lighter.

“What did the doctor say?” Maria sounded worried.

Doctor? Then this wasn’t the ceiling of the local FBI office? Where was that office? Wisconsin? No. Some place hot and dry. Albuquerque.

The ceiling tiles of hospitals in Albuquerque could be very entertaining. They were dancing now, rippling like waves of an ocean. Was he a fish looking up at the waves? Or had he gotten up and down mixed up? He spread his fingers at his sides, feeling for the ocean floor and came up with metal tube railing and starched cotton sheet. He was on a hospital bed. But why? Did he really need this?

“They’re running some blood tests. But if it’s the Chinese Sh*t they won’t find anything.” Toby’s voice deepened with irritation.

“It isn’t his fault.”

“I never said it was.”

If Drew had been himself, he might have resented both their attitudes. Instead, he tried blinking a few times to see if the holes in the ceiling tiles were really expanding and contracting like living things.

“If it weren’t for him…” Maria left the comment hanging.

“Then it would have been one of us.” As if they had avoided a fate worse than death. “Obviously the stuff is worse than we thought to make a man like him fall.”

“Maybe he isn’t really addicted.” Maria’s face came into view again. He hadn’t realized she’d moved away from him, and didn’t really care.

“The stuff doesn’t last that long. It’s been days since his last rendezvous with the perps. If he’s like this now, he has to have done more of it for reasons that have nothing to do with the job.”

Job. That’s right. Drew was here to do a job. And once it was done, he could go home. Home. Home home home to Suzie’s house. He could go now, right?

“What are we going to do about him? We still need him for the case.” Maria sounded worried. “Maybe he went out without telling us. Maybe he learned something.”

“Hey! Mr. Banks. Can you hear me?” Toby came up on Maria’s side.

Drew rolled his eyes in that direction, but didn’t bother to answer to condescending jerk.

“Did you find any evidence?”

“Ahhhh…” That was Drew’s voice. It rumbled in his chest before it came out, so he knew it was his, though it sounded a lot more lucid than he actually felt.

“Just tell us if you learned anything. Tell us what you know,”

Home. If he could tell them something, he could go home.

“Ramirez is coming. August 4th. In The Snake Pit. Catch him then.”

“I’ll be D@mned.” Toby grinned. “I was going to suggest to the boss that he be sent to rehab then discharged, but I guess we’ll have to hold on to him instead.”

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