Author Archives: aliceaudrey
Jack Fell Down
Jill: Jack? Oh no! Jack! Jill: You didn’t go up on the roof after I told you not to, did you? Jack: (silence) Jill: You did! Oh no! Are you all right? Jack: (groan) Jill: Oh no! What do I do? What do I do? Jack: (groan) Jill: Oh, your leg, your arms, you… neck? Can you feel anything? Jack: Ouch. Jill: Booo hoooo! I killed my husband. I told him to paint the house and now […]
Suzie’s House #62: You Can and I Can’t?
Last week, and the week before, we caught Vin and Miranda in bed together. It was not their first time to do it, but it was their first to get caught. Suzie was a bit tipsy at the time, but not so far gone she didn’t know what she was seeing. Suzie hacked off the tops of two carrots with a vicious swing of a cleaver. She knew darn well a cleaver was overkill for […]
Thursday Thirteen 22: Ways to clean a house without actually doing housework.
All the cleaning suggestions that have been made in the last couple of weeks have inspired me. Here are my not-cleaning tips. 1. Designate one room as a place where no one is allowed to look. Put everything left out in the open in any other room in the house into that room. Close the door. Lock it. Vuala! You are done. 2. Tell you husband how sexy he is when he’s doing dishes. Hey, it’s true. […]
By George! What Manner of Company is This?
After all his efforts to repair the damage to his reputation, Gorge IV still couldn’t get a break with either his parents or the London press. What’s a poor boy to do? If he has the right kind of friends, go wild. The Barrymores, Duke, Countess, and two other brothers made for colourful copy. While riding down to Brighton, they enjoyed uprooting or otherwise changing roadsigns. Another endearing trick would be to, while riding through an unsuspecting village, have […]
Checking them out
I was surfing along yesterday when I ran across a picture of four guys. This was not the usual strip-club fair of four buff guys oiled and posed with little black bow ties and not much else, just three average guys. And I immediately checked them over for do-ability. Am I twisted or what? I feel like such a dog. Unless, of course, I’m not the only “ma-am” out there giving total strangers a quick once or twice over. No. […]
Crab Louis
from the Don’t Eat Your Heart Out cookbook 1 head lettuce 1/2 pound crab meat 1/4 cup sliced waterchestnuts 2 stalks celery, thinly sliced 3 green onions with tops, thinly sliced 1/2 green pepper, chopped 2 tomatoes, cut into wedges 1 bunch asparagus spears, steamed 2-4 minutes lemon wedges Dressing: 3/4 c mayonnaise 2 T. lemon juice 2 T. grated onion combine mayonnaise, lemon juice, and onion; chill 30 minutes. Line chilled salad bowls with outside leaves of lettuce; shred […]
No, Jack! No!
Jill: Jack? What are you doing? Jack: Drinking. Jill: I can see that. What I want to know is why? Jack: You want me to paint the thing on the roof, right? Jill: (slowly) Yeahhhhhh. Jack: I needed a little courage. Jill: Oh no. No, no, no! You are not going up there like this. Jack: Do you want it done, or don’t you? saturday photo scavenger hunt The rules for Photohunt can be found here. Today’s theme […]
Suzie’s House 61: A Compromising Position
We’re going to backtrack in time a little bit this week. Last week we ended with Suzie and Drew coming home from the Cardinal. This week we are starting while they are still there. Vin jerked awake at the sound of the burglar alarm going off. He found himself still sitting in the living room with the remote in his hand, but the TV was off along with all the lights. He almost called out to Miranda or Suzie that […]
Thursday Thirteen #21: Cups of Coffee
Sometimes a cup of coffee is a real work of art. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. Can’t you smell the cinnimon and hazlenut? Mmmmm… and I don’t even drink coffee! There’s a couple of bonus pictures, just for fun. To get a hard link from this post you have to both use the Mr. Linky thing and leave a comment. More Thursday Thirteen Participants Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! […]
By George! Trying to Look Respectable
Have you been wondering what Mr. Al meant about Queen Elizabeth the First and a sermon? Me too. One Sunday, during the reign of Elizabeth the First, her Majesty was attending services and found the preacher getting a bit long winded. Her pew was separate from the rest, of course, and surrounded by a privacy screen. She tapped on the screen with her fan as a signal to the preacher to wind things up. The preacher read the tap to […]
Extension
This time of year, when I’m crunching numbers and not liking any of them and am dealing with revenue streams – or trickles as the case may be – from a variety of sources I am reminded that I’m NOT a tax accountant. I don’t live and breath tax law all year long. I just sort of muddle through the season.First I have to get the books ready for the tax accountant at work. Apparently he has been very happy […]
Creative Packaging
This one is from an email titled tromp d’oeil & creative packaging. It had too many pictures for this poor blog to handle, so I broke it in two.
SOS
The actual name for this recipe is something like Shtuff on a Shingle. It’s something my grandmother would whip up when she ran out of time or was too tired to cook. 1 can cream of mushroom soup 1 jar chip beef toast Warm chip beef and can of soup on stove. Pour over slices of toast. Serve.
Jack and Jill Paint the House
As if climbing up the file cabinet to get the paint last week wasn’t bad enough. This week Jill wants to actually use the paint. Jack: You want me to paint WHAT? Jill: Come on, Jack. You can see for yourself it’s just primer. We have to paint it soon. The real estate lady said so. Jack: By “we” you wouldn’t happen to mean you, would you? Jill: You don’t really expect ME to get on the roof, do you? Do you have any […]
