Suzie’s House 437 : Climbing in Her Own Window

Emma crawled into her own window around six in the morning. She wasn’t quite sure why she felt it was necessary to pretend she’d been home all night even though she’d only crashed with Tracy and Lisa because the gig at the bar went until closing, and she didn’t feel like trying to explain things to her father because she was so tired.

If things were the way they were before he came home, then no one would have noticed she didn’t come home last night. If things were the way they were before he ran away, then she wouldn’t have been allowed out the house to sing in the first place, let alone sing in a bar.

But now that he was back everything was all new, if not exactly fresh, and she wasn’t quite sure what to expect. Well, if it got real bad, she’d just act like him and run away. Tracy already said she could stay with them any time she wanted, though Lisa didn’t say anything and it was Lisa’s house.

The window made a squeaking noise as she closed it. She held her breath and listened. Nothing in the house stirred, but it didn’t feel empty like usual.

Mom was probably asleep. Maybe Dad and his friend were, too. Probably. That was the whole point of coming home so early, wasn’t it? It had nothing to do with the way she lay awake on Tracy’s floor in Tracy’s bedroll and thought about what to make of her Dad coming home right before the gig.

Would he be mad because she left? All the times she thought about him coming home, she hadn’t really thought about how he would be. She’d mostly thought about how her mother would have been if he hadn’t gone away, and how the house seemed so empty with him gone.

But when she thought about how he was to her… there was nothing much there. He sat across the breakfast table and read a newspaper. He glowered over things her mother told him about when Emma misbehaved. He had this resolute kind of feeling the rest of the time. But it wasn’t like he’d ever really hung out with her or anyone else.

She took her clothes off and dropped them on the floor. They smelled of cigarette smoke even though no one in the band smoked. You weren’t really supposed to smoke in the bar, but sometimes people did anyway. It wasn’t like the bouncer cared.

She grabbed the ends of her hair and brought them around to sniff, but couldn’t tell if it smelled or not. Maybe she should take a shower first so the smell didn’t get in her pillow. That had happened a couple of weeks ago, and it was awful.

The dresser drawer squeaked when she tried to fish out JPs. She though about the way Tracy slept in a T-shirt because she didn’t have any night clothes, and about the way she and Gene had announced they were going to switch places in the band as soon as Tracy could get her hands on a guitar, and about how Kate wouldn’t come over with them because her mom and dad wouldn’t let her, and about how Kate’s mom and dad at least allowed her to play, even if they didn’t know it was in a bar. Emma bet she didn’t crawl into her own window at the crack of dawn.

Emma sneaked into the hall with her PJs in her hands on her way to the bathroom right next to her room. She heard a funny sound from the living room and backed up to look.

There her dad lay sleeping on the couch. She quick turned to go to the bathroom before he woke up, but wasn’t quick enough.

“Emma?” Dad’s sleepy voice followed her. “Come here for a bit. I need to talk to you.”

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