Suzie’s House 438: Conversation Bombs

As much as Emma loved her father, she wasn’t exactly eager to confront him at the crack of dawn as she was headed for the bathroom to shower the smell of cigarette smoke off of her skin and hair. She could too easily imagine him driving himself into a self righteous frenzy over what he must see as her bad behavior. But it wasn’t like she’d been smoking herself. And if she’d been in a bar, it was only to play in the band, not to sit around and guzzle beer. Besides, for all she knew, he could have spent all that time away from home doing the sitting and guzzling.

But when he called out in that lonesome voice and said he needed to talk, she couldn’t ignore him.

“What’s wrong, Dad?” She backtracked to the door of the living room.

“Come. Sit down.” He twisted around in the couch to look at her over the back and waved at the chair next to him.. His blankets slid around and his pillow made a thunk sound as it fell to the floor. He still wore the clothes he’d had on when he first returned home yesterday.

“W-why are you sleeping here?” She worked her way around him with as much distance as she thought she could get away with and sat in the chair furthest away. Maybe he wouldn’t smell anything.

“Have I changed so much that you’re afraid of me?” He glanced at her resentfully.

“N-n-n-o.” All the feelings of insecurity and resentment she’d lived with her whole life came rushing back. She hated it. In frustration, she threw them off. “Why aren’t you in bed?” She asked it a bit louder this time, a bit more forcefully.

“Your mother doesn’t want me.” He mumbled it.

“W-w-why not?” But she could already guess.

After all those years of doing exactly what Dad wanted all the time and second guessing everything she did and just generally being what Tracy would call a door mat, Mom had finally gotten a life.

Emma started in on a daydream about her mother yelling stuff about freedom and throwing dishes, but couldn’t sustain it. The mental image faded out even before her father spoke.

“She thinks I’ve been unfaithful. But I haven’t.” He rushed to explain himself, holding his hands up defensively. “I just went back home to ask some advice. Only everyone was already dead. Everyone.” He looked down with a little frown.

“Back home?” Emma did know quite what to make of that. As far as she knew, where they were sitting right now was the only home.

“Back to Virginia to see your grandfather.”

“G-g-g-grandfather?!” As far as she’d ever known she’d never had any kind of grandparents. It was as though extended family was a dirty word. All her life it had simply been something they never talked about.

Completely oblivious to everything Emma was thinking and feeling, her father just kept talking. “He had died years ago. So did the woman I loved before your mother. Now we really and truly are alone.”

“I… I’m not alone.” Emma said determinedly. “I have friends.” She needed for him to know that. If he could drop conversation bombs, well so could she.

“That’s good.” He smiled weakly, taking all the fun out of it. “Friends are good. Friends are important.” His smile turned wry.

“That’s right. They are. So you’ll just have to put up with it if my friends keep me out all night.” Emma glared at him, just waiting for him to light into her.

“They what?!” There it was. The old angry self righteousness. Her dad really was back. “Where have you been all night?”

“I… I’m a singer in a rock and roll band. I play gigs in bars.” She lifted her chin, fully prepared to argue.

“No you’re not! I forbid…” He stopped in mid-sentence as the man who had been with him before came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Who are you?” She looked right at the man.

“Your father’s friend. My name’s Gabriel. Don’t worry. I’m not going to let him make the same old mistakes.” He gave her father’s shoulder a pat.

Dad hunkered down and looked embarrassed, but he didn’t argue. Clearly, things really were all going to be different now.

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