Thirteen Quotes from my Owner’s Manual

This is quite possibly the worst owners manual I’ve ever encountered. It isn’t merely “English as a second language.” It comes from a point of view I find frustrating at best. As my grandmother used to say, “If I didn’t laugh, I’d have to cry.” In the interest of sharing my pain, here’s a selection of what’s in the manual.

1.(From the very first page) This manual is one of the important accompanying documents. It would provide you accurate description for utilizing the vehicle safely and comfortably. inspecting it-rightly and reasonably.

2. “CAUTION” means the following information must be conformted-or else damage accident may happen.

3. length: 3998 mm. (Can they really be that accurate? Ever try measuring a car?)

4. Using the window crank to open and close each window. Turn the crank clockwise for moving the window down, the window is opened; ture conter for moving up, the window is closed. (Uh… yeah, thanks. I couldn’t have guessed.)

5. Be sure to tie your seat belt up during driving. (They explain how to buckle in detail in a different spot. It’s just like every other seat belt.)

6. The airbag must explode as soon as possible so that it can reduce injury.

7. To avoid harmfulness, when you operate the ignition switch, do not put hands through steering wheel. (Someone would actually do this?)

8. Indication lamps and roon lamps (I still haven’t figured this on out, but it seems to have something to do with the idiot lights.)

9. Seat belt waring lamp (This thing has even more spelling mistakes than my blog.)

10. Under the condition of engine over-heated, continue driving will spoil the engine seriously.

11. Avoid the status that there is no fuel in the tank.

12. (There’s a check list of things you are supposed to inspect every day that rivals an airplane pre-flight check. It includes things like check the oil, tires, and pedals)

13. If shrill noise is hesrd while step the brake pedal, mayb it is normal because of environwent like coldness, dampness, or snow weather.

Oh, yeah, and the dipstick that sent me to the manual in the first place because I couldn’t find it? Wasn’t listed anywhere. I found it by lifting off the drivers seat.
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The vehicle in question is pictured here.
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