By George! Prince Edward Won’t Have It!

It seems the royal brothers have a lot in common with George IV.  When sent to a fine, upstanding community, what does Edward do?  You’ll have to see for yourself.

Sometime in 1790, Edward gave his “bearkeepers”, as he called them, the slip and went AWOL to England. Had he been a common soldier, he surely would have been hanged. Desertion in a time of war was a hanging offense in almost all armies well into the 20th century. The Kings reaction to finding his wayward offspring on his doorstep was unbridled rage. Edward’s brother Ernest had not been allowed to come home for good until he had had part of his face shot away and nearly lost the use of his left arm. And that was after eight years of faithful service to his regiment.

In stark contrast, Brother Edward was back home, illegally, because he found Geneva boring. Dad made short work of him. After an interview lasting less than five minutes, Edward was packed off to Gibraltar. Once there he was to be “strictly disciplined.” Not surprisingly, he liked Gibraltar even less than Geneva.

His brother officers were “low, others stupid.” The local booze was hooch cooked up out of old socks and moldy zucchinis by goat ranchers who poisoned themselves with it out of boredom. The local women, if they WERE women, were ugly beyond belief and few in number. He did have one thing going for him, as a Prince of the Realm; he had to be an officer. In fact, he was made the commanding officer of the Royal Fusiliers. The Royal Fusiliers would bitterly resent this before too long.

This command gave him more freedom of action than any other soldier on “The Rock” could dream of; including his brother officers. It allowed him to import luxury items like fine wines; custom made carriages from London, silk undies, high-end furniture, an entire orchestra, and a mistress. He was not about to lower his standards, girl-wise, by attempting the reproductive act with a local female who may or may not have been related to the famous Gibraltar baboons.

He sent a trusted pal to France to find him a suitable girlfriend. To make sure his new squeeze wouldn’t throw herself from a cliff in despair after seeing her new home, Prince Edward went deep into debt turning his bachelor quarters into something his eldest brother would have no trouble recognizing as a suitable home.

Since Gibraltar was, and is to this day, a British military outpost, the British papers took an interest in what went on there. Especially if it involved one of the princes. The arrival from Marseilles of Therese-Bernardine Mongent, to be known hereafter as Mlle de St Laurent, made all the London papers because this lady made a beeline to Prince Edwards spiffy new pad.

The two seemed to hit it off right away. She was smart, loved music as much as Edward and had “above all, a pretty face and a handsome person.” If Fast Eddie thought his luck had changed, dad had plans for him that would disabuse him of that notion.