By George! They’re All Alike. Almost.

Last week and the week before we saw what Fast Eddie could do in the most “dismal” of places.  Let’s see what dear old dad can do to him. Hover over the pictures to see the names.

The King agreed with The Prince that Brother Edward should get the chance to be a hero. Only not on the European side of the Atlantic. Fortunately there was a kerfluffle with, who else, the French down in the West Indies. Prince Edward was promoted to Major General and placed on the staff of Sir Charles Gray. It must have come as a hell of a shock to everyone back home when the kid made a name for himself.

For his actions in the reductions of the French garrisons on the islands of Martinique and St. Lucia, Prince Edward was honorably mentioned in dispatches. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but in the British army, it was very big deal. It meant he did something outstanding in the face of the enemy.
While four brothers, Frederick, Ernest, Adolphus and Edward were fighting in the war, Two others, William and Augustus were not.

Augustus suffered from severe asthma, so much so that he was often on the continent at various spas seeking relief. This left him with plenty of free time to pursue various hobbies. I’ll cover these in a later installment. Suffice it to say they caused His Majesty much grief.

Dad decided early on that William would join the navy. Why? Perhaps he decided that he had enough kids in the army. Either way, William joined the navy. William liked the navy well enough. The problem was that one of the reasons William and his brothers were in the military was to keep them out of England. This is something all the brothers were keenly aware of. It was something they keenly resented.

This is what William wrote to the Prince of Wales in 1786. “What could be the use of our worthy friend, our close relation, (dad) keeping us so close? (On such short rations regarding thier allowances.) Does he imagine he will make his sons friends by this mode of conduct? If he does, he is sadly mistaken. He certainly wishes us all well and thinks he is doing his best. I am convinced he loves me by his way of receiving me last. I cannot but regard him, and would do anything to please him, but it is so difficult to satisfy.”

It didn’t help the expatriate brothers cases that no sooner was the Duke of York allowed home than he and The Prince launched themselves on a drunken gambling spree in London that was covered in detail by The Times. That episode confirmed His Majesties worst suspicions about his boys. Edward’s behavior was a whole box full of nails in that particular coffin.

William did his bit to hold up the high standards set by his eldest brother. His behavior, for a sailor, probably was not all that shocking. But then, how many sailors had The King for a dad? William drank like a sailor, cussed like a sailor, gambled and visited houses of ill repute like, well, like a sailor. This would not have been remarkable were it not for the fact that the London papers reported all of it.

“Sailor Billy”, as the papers called him was destined to be as big a disappointment as the rest. That was dad’s view. He was also destined to be King of England. But dad could be forgiven for not seeing king material in so wayward a lad. From 1780 to 1790, William slowly made his way up the naval promotion ladder. By all reports, he was an officer of modest accomplishments.

There was one difference between William’s branch of the service and the British Army. Every now and then, British warships had to put into English ports. About the time that Edward was sent to Geneva, William’s frigate, the Pegasus, put into Plymouth for repairs. Sailor Billy was not allowed to pop up to London to visit. He was to remain in Plymouth until his ship sailed again. Dad’s orders.

“Dullness rules here altogether. He wrote to The Prince; But what is worse than all, not a woman fit to be touched with tongs, not a house to put your head in after dark…if it were not for duty to my ship I should perhaps hang myself.” It was only a matter of a few months before all that radically changed. For the better as far as Sailor Billy was concerned. Dad wouldn’t see it that way at all; but then, dad never could see the bright side of a royal scandal.