By George! But Honey, I Always Loved You Best

Prince George never stayed true in his affections for very long, with one notable exception. And even then…

In June 1799, the Prince overcame his delicate feelings about a woman of rank being booted to the curb and booted Lady Jersey to the curb from Jack Payne’s old crib next to Carlton House. To make sure she got the point, he fired her geriatric husband from his job as the Prince’s Master of the Horse. A job in name only since he was rarely paid for it.

After that, Lady Jersey pursued him. He avoided her. She pursued some more. He sent “trusted emissaries” to her with messages that ran along the lines of, “Would you, for the love of God, leave me the hell alone!” Or words to that effect. Eventually, Lady Jersey did back off, but only so far. She accepted that she would never hold the same position in the Prince’s life that she had previously, BUT…Because of the way he treated her, the Prince had made a new and very dangerous enemy. But that, gentle reader, is a story…for another time.

What concerns us now is the Prince’s renewed fixation with Mrs. Fitzherbert. He tried to get the ball rolling with the usual epistolary broadsides. At this point, Mrs. Fitzherbert was back in England, if she had ever left, and the Prince knew where to find her. He did not do so personally because of his other girl problems at the time. Not to mention that Mrs. Fitzherbert had no desire to see him.

“The link, once broken could never be rejoined.” She told Prince Ernest. Even if she agreed to get together, she knew the Prince well enough to know that they would both be fighting like wet cats in a sack within a fortnight. Besides, there was A: His new wife; Whom she had a low opinion of, but that wasn’t the point. And, B through Z, Lady Jersey. Whom she had an even lower opinion of, but that was neither here nor there as long as His Royal Boyfriendness was shagging her.

When the Prince heard this he frantically asked the Duchess of Rutland, an old friend of Mrs. Fitzherbert’s to take a letter to her. In the letter he firmly stated that everything was “finally at an end IN ANOTHER QUARTER.” Mrs. Fitzherbert had heard that one before. She kept her distance.

One thing was obvious to all who knew him; the Prince was working himself up into a state again. One thing that worked in the Prince’s favor, Mrs. Fitzherbert would never agree to be a mistress, but she refused to view Princess Caroline as his legitimate wife. The Prince knew this left the door slightly open to the possibility of a reunion, once he convinced her that Lady Jersey was out of the picture.

Not an easy thing to do when the bitch refused to go away. But work on it he did. Letters, gifts of jewelry, even a locket containing a miniature picture of, get this, one of his eyes! Why an eye? Who knows, but there it was. And then one day he heard that Mrs. Fitzherbert had fallen ill. It was worse than that actually. A newspaper reported that she had died in the spa town of Bath.

The Prince took complete leave of his senses. He could “neither feel, think, nor speak.” He began taking “quantities” of laudanum, a powerful opiate, and insisting on being bled, thirty-eight ounces over a three day period, and of course, large amounts of brandy. What never seemed to occur to him was to send someone to Bath to confirm the story. When it turned out that she was alive and well, he really pulled out all the stops to win her back.

He wrote to her, “Save me, save me, on my knees I conjure you from myself.” (Sound familiar?) He went on, in uppercase, IF YOU WISH MY LIFE YOU SHALL HAVE IT…OH GOD! OH, GOD, WHO HAS SEEN THE AGONY OF MY SOUL AND KNOWEST THE PURITY OF MY INTENTIONS HAVE MERCY ON ME: TURN ONCE MORE I CONJURE THEE, THE HEART OF MY MARIA, TO ME, FOR WHOM I HAVE LIVED AND FOR WHOM I WILL DIE… YOU KNOW YOU ARE MY WIFE, THE WIFE OF MY HEART AND SOUL, MY WIFE IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD…
He stopped at this point, around 2:00 am, to take a break. A crying jag, actually. After a few restorative brandies, he resumed. About 4:00 am.
” The wretched experiences of the last five years have made life only desirable in one shape to me, AND THAT IS YOU! I AM WRAPPED UP IN YOU ENTIRELY… NOTHING CAN ALTER ME, SHAKE ME OR CHANGE ME. ALIKE, YOURS IN LIFE AND DEATH, THE CHRYSIS (the Prince’s spelling) IS COME AND I SHALL DECIDE MY FATE, THAT IS TO SAY, YOU SHALL FIX MY DOOM…”

Prince Clueless went on to threaten to expose their marriage to the king. Damn! After everyone worked so hard to keep it a secret. “I will prove my marriage, relinquish everything for you, rank, situation, birth, and if that is not sufficient, my life shall go also…Thank God my witnesses are living, your uncle and your brother…Oh! My heart, my heart…”

He didn’t bother asking Mrs. Fitzherbert if her brother and uncle would mind going to prison after confessing to a double felony by stating they witnessed the marriage ceremony. All the histrionics were enough to convince the Royal Family that only Mrs. Fitzherbert could save him. While the King and Queen pressed for reconciliation with Caroline, the Prince’s siblings, some of them anyway, urged Mrs. Fitzherbert to renew her relationship with their brother.

Still not comfortable with the idea, Mrs. Fitzherbert took an extended holiday in Wales. But while she was there, the Rev William Nassau had traveled to Rome to clear up any ambiguities concerning the earlier marriage. There were none, as far as the Holy See was concerned there were no conflicts with the church on any point, legal or procedural. Prince George of Wales and Maria Fitzherbert were husband and wife and had been since the day they married.

That was enough for Maria. With the unofficial blessing of many members of the Royal Family and the official blessing of the Church, Mrs. Fitzherbert swallowed her doubts and rejoined the Prince. Princess Caroline had a new “rankle.”

-Mr. Al